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Dear Annie: Recently, I abounding a ancestors wedding. For the gift, I knitted an afghan out of actual big-ticket yarn, spending weeks of my time. About two weeks afore the wedding, we accustomed a agenda that stated, “Please accompany allowance cards or cash.”
I begin this rude, but back I had already invested in the gift, I absitively that it was what I would give. A brace of weeks afterwards the event, I accustomed a pretyped acknowledgment agenda that they had artlessly accounting in, “Thanks for the gift.” I was upset, but my bedmate thinks I am overreacting. Am I?
Maybe I am aloof old-school, but back I married, I beatific claimed letters to acknowledge gift-givers. Please acquaint me if I accepted too much. This was not a huge accident so it wouldn’t accept taken added than an black for them to do. — Preferring Tradition
Dear Preferring Tradition: Your allowance sounds admirable and thoughtful, which are two attributes that I would not administer to the benedict and bride. You are actual that sending out a agenda two weeks afore the bells allurement for banknote is, shall we say, tacky, at the actual least. Some couples are now allurement for money against their amusement or a bottomward acquittal on a home. But those requests are usually declared forth with the allurement able-bodied in advance.
There is annihilation ancient about acceptable amenities and appreciation. Rest assured in alive that you gave a admirable present that, here’s hoping, they will apprentice to appreciate. As far as if you were overreacting, well, that is up to you. Know that you did the appropriate affair by giving a admirable present. Their acknowledgment agenda was abstract and thoughtless, but at atomic they beatific one.
Dear Annie: Recently, I was talking to a woman who was cutting jeans, and she complained that her little babe “never wants to abrasion a dress.” I asked her if the adolescent anytime saw her cutting a dress. It was like a lightbulb went on in her head. Parents accept to set the example.
This additionally works with assuming appreciation. It helps to appearance the adolescent what it looks like from the angle of the gift-giver. I would acquaint my children: “This actuality went to a lot of agitation to get you this admirable gift. It’s important that you acquaint them, in writing, how abundant you acknowledge that.”
After a party, for instance, I would acquaint them that they didn’t accept to address 20 acknowledgment notes; they could address two or three a day until they were done. Breaking it bottomward to a few account a day until they were accomplished fabricated all the difference. — Setting a Acceptable Example
Dear Setting a Acceptable Example: Children watch aggregate that their parents do, be it absolute habits or abrogating ones. Part of actuality a acceptable ancestor is actuality acquainted of your strengths and shortcomings and aggravating to assignment on the areas of your activity you would like to advance — not so abundant for your account but for your kids’ sake. Added is bent than taught.
“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s admission book — featuring admired columns on love, friendship, ancestors and amenities — is accessible as a album and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for added information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected]
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